News flash: U.N. Climate Change delegates want to wreck the U.S. economy and ban water

 

This is interesting. It seems the Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow (CFACT) has forged a new frontier in climate change research — a peek into the psyches of climate change alarmists themselves. And what better laboratory than the  United Nations Conference on Climate Change that just wrapped up in (an unusually and ironically frigid) Cancun, Mexico?

The findings — although not particularly surprising — are sure to raise some eyebrows. Most of the delegates happily signed a petition in favor of United Nations imposed tariffs and and trade restrictions against the United States, with the stated goal of destabilizing the U.S. economy.

Wow. I’m starting to think they don’t like us or something. The dirty details are on the CFACT website:

The first project, entitled “Petition to Set a Global Standard” sought to isolate and punish the United States of America for defying the international community, by refusing to bite, hook, line and sinker on the bait that is the Kyoto Protocol. The petition went so far as to encourage the United Nations to impose tariffs and trade restrictions on the U.S. in a scheme to destabilize the nation’s economy. Specifically, the scheme seeks to lower the U.S. GDP by 6% over a ten year period, unless the U.S. signs a U.N. treaty on global warming.

What a shock to discover that Climate Change alarmism is really just a sanctimonious cloak for the anti-American left! Who could have known? It’s not like they’ve been trying to trick us into sacrificing liberty and wealth because if we don’t we’ll burn up or drown or something. Oh wait. That’s right. They are.

Well at least these would-be masters of our fate are smart, savvy, and well-informed. I mean, it’s not like they’re easily-led dupes who might be tricked into… I don’t know… supporting a ban on water or anything.

The second project was as successful as the first. It was euphemistically entitled “Petition to Ban the Use of Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO)” (translation water). It was designed to show that if official U.N. delegates could be duped by college students into banning water, that they could essentially fall for anything, including pseudo-scientific studies which claim to show that global warming is man-caused.

Despite the apparently not-so-obvious reference to H2O, almost every delegate that collegian students approached signed their petition to ban that all too dangerous substance, which contributes to the greenhouse effect, is the major substance in acid rain, and is fatal if inhaled.

Oh well, what can you expect at a convention where the delegates flew in from all over the world in gas-guzzling jets just to extol the virtues of phone-booth sized environmental housing and the evils of capitalism, before catching one of the every-ten-minute, nearly-empty, sixty-passenger, carbon-belching shuttles back to their luxury hotels.

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