Bill Clinton’s America-bashing gets him a standing ovation in Canada

This has been a tough month for Americans. It’s bad enough that State Department officials sought council from China regarding the human rights hell that is the United States, but then Felipe Calderon, the president of Mexico, discovered that illegal immigration is illegal in Arizona and threw a hissy fit all over the White House Rose Garden. Then, by way of apology, President Obama authorized warm showers, fluffy robes, and rooms at the Holiday Inn so those fleeing Calderon’s Latin Shangri-La can relax while they fill out their welfare applications.

Or something like that. To be honest, by then my hands were over my eyes, so I’m a little sketchy on the fine details.

Anyway, then, just when I think I’ve heard it all, I happen upon a column in the Seattle PI about how Bill Clinton – a man renowned for his lack of shame – “brought down the house in Vancouver” last week by condemning, among other things, America’s embarrassing dearth of windmills.  

He decried China’s human rights record, but noted that populous China and India are forcefully “in the future business.”

“I’m embarrassed by the fact that the Chinese spent twice as much last year on solar and wind energy as we did.”

This is not good. If America’s flaws can embarrass even Clinton – a man who thinks the words “pleased to meet you Ma’am” constitute foreplay and is prone to drop his pants like some drooling perv at the 7-11 parking lot – they must be grotesque indeed.

Mortifying as our lack of windmills may be, however, it doesn’t even approach the humiliation of being represented by a notorious misogynist who has no business passing judgment on your garden-variety public exhibitionist, much less anything else. Just ask any of the women who have been slandered and intimidated for the egregious sin of randomly crossing into Clinton’s hypersexual, narcissistic orbit. 

Unfortunately, that was only a small portion of Clinton’s America-bashing tirade. Let me summarize: Americans are greedy, wasteful, rigid, gun-toting rednecks who are, he told the swooning Canadians, “prejudiced against anyone who disagrees with us.”

Apparently the packed house of Canadian liberals ate it up. “It was not Bill Clinton’s first standing ovation in Vancouver, and it certainly won’t be the last,” Connelly wrote.

The 42nd president ranged over topics, from rebuilding Haiti’s coffee and mango plantations to raising per capita income in Rwanda, to the “rigidity” that kept America from reforming health care for so long. Clinton was, at times, scathing about his own country’s political climate. He did note that Americans have made great strides overcoming racial prejudice and homophobia, but quipped “now we’re just prejudice against anyone who disagrees with us.”

Yes, poor Clinton is positively red-faced about how difficult it has been for the American left to yoke their self-reliant compatriots – who rigidly insist on managing their own healthcare and refuse to dismantle our petroleum-based economy and drive mule carts to work despite the shrieking army of anti-capitalist ideologues hysterically waving reams of scandal and error-ridden junk science.

He hit hard at global warming, declaring “the whole energy model we got rich on is not sustainable because of climate change.”

He noted the lack of agreement at last winter’s Copenhagen climate summit. Why? Because people involved were not convinced you could reduce greenhouse gases and grow your economy. He talked about rigidity on health care, saying “who in his right mind would pay 17 percent of national income for 84 percent coverage, when our Canadian friends pay 10.5 percent of Gross Domestic Product to cover 100 percent?”

Too bad Clinton couldn’t have mustered at least that much passion when al-Qaeda bombed our embassies, our Navy, and dragged murdered U.S. soldiers throughout the streets of Mogadishu.

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