Obama and Calderon appeared together today for a very parliamentary-like, head-of-state, pomp-and-circumstance, joint debut at the White House Rose Garden; and there were instantly around 521 pictures of them on Google Images. So I picked this very nice one with Benjamin Netanyahu.
President Obama met today with Mexican President Felipe Calderon, who is in Washington for an official head-of-state fret-fest about Arizona’s recent decision to establish a border around the United States.
During that visit, Obama tried to smooth Calderon’s ruffled feathers by agreeing that America is just awful because “no law-abiding person — be they an American citizen, illegal immigrant, or a visitor or tourist from Mexico — should ever be subject to suspicion simply because of what they look like,”
Speaking of, I certainly don’t approve of all those gangs of Arizona cops running amuck with night sticks and melanin meters, but I for one do kind of like the idea of having a national border. I think it would be very nice for the U.S. to finally have a shape that you can pick out on a map like other countries do.
President Obama, however, said the move was “misdirected” but he can’t do anything about it because he doesn’t “have 60 votes in the senate.”
Calderon, however, is still deeply offended that America wants to know silly things like the names of its visitors, which kind of confused me, because every time I’ve been to Mexico, I had to show them my I.D. at least 157 times. And the last time they interrogated a member of our medical team for two hours, made us miss a flight, and took all our ibuprofen because we wouldn’t go outside of the airport and pay a guy named Ramon $100.
But this Arizona situation is very serious. China, for one, is appalled. Appalled!! Our position and standing in the world is on very thin ice, and we all know how President Obama feels about that, so he must have been pretty low, especially after this tongue-lashing from Calderon:
“We are and will continue to be respectful of the internal policies of the United States and its legitimate right to establish, in accordance to its Constitution, whatever laws it approves,” he said, “But we will retain our firm rejection to criminalized migration so that people that work and provide things to this nation would be treated as criminals.”
Then Obama apologized to Calderon (he likes to apologize) for the lack of signage and lighting at the border and promised to clean up all the unsightly soiled diapers, used toilet paper, and drug paraphernalia. Oh, and no more rifles, locked houses and cars, and scary dogs. Then he pledged to turn Arizona into a National Park and install a roller skate track between Tijuana and San Diego.
That made everything all better – until after dinner when Calderon encountered a locked door in the west wing, totally freaked, and began raving about criminalization of room enterers, discrimination, suspicion, racial profiling and all kinds of weird things
By the way, I just made up the last two paragraphs and many other parts of this piece, but wouldn’t it be funny if they were true?