Biden’s Reality

 

 

Apparently, now that Iraq is an island of relative sanity within a region seething with murderous hatred for America, Vice President Joe Biden has pronounced it one of the Obama administration’s “greatest achievements.”

  

 Interesting that he should say that, since President Obama wasn’t in office during the darkest and most desperate months of the war. But I’m sure he did what he could. I remember lots of helpful suggestions coming from the general direction of Capitol Hill around that time. You know, the usual: “Saddam Hussein is a harmless puppy-dog.” “This is a pointless war.” “The surge will never work.” “George Bush drinks the blood of babies.” Stuff like that.

  

 I also seem to recall loud and frequent demands that President Bush set an exit date and sky-write it over Fallujah and Ramadi, but I can’t remember whether that was supposed to be before or after Iraq was divided into three separate countries – Biden’s very own bright idea.

  

 We all know that Biden and Obama believe in “spreading the wealth,” but this takes it to a whole new level. Apparently they don’t intend to steal — I mean spread –  only material wealth around, but character attributes as well –  like courage, sacrifice, and national honor.

 

See how it works? Biden is free to spread success in Iraq to Obama and at the same time spread the current high unemployment, looming inflation, and through-the-stratosphere debt over to Bush.

 

I realize it’s a stretch, but as Liz Cheney reminds us, Biden does have that “famously tenuous relationship with reality.”

 

It might actually work. They could throw one of those fabled White House parties, invite Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins and Michael Moore – and maybe even get the gals from Code Pink to decorate.

 

Can’t you just picture it? All the high fiving, back slapping, and gloating about breaking up Saddam Hussein’s little I-hate-America club with Osama Bin Laden and dashing all his yellow-cake-shopping, eye-gouging, hand-drilling, and mustard-gas-oriented dreams and aspirations.

 

Heck, New York Times reporters, James Risen and Eric Lichtblau, might as well come as well.  They could knock back a few and congratulate themselves for thwarting al-Qaeda’s scheme to bring down the Brooklyn Bridge – a mass murder plot that was foiled thanks to both enhanced interrogation and the National Security Administration’s super-secret electronic surveillance program. Yes, the same surveillance program that Risen and Lichtblau decided to rat out to our mortal enemies.

 

While we’re at it, why not honor Teddy Kennedy for winning the Cold War, President James Buchanan for freeing the slaves, and Benedict Arnold for America’s independence?

 

Indeed, Washington D.C. is a wealth-spreading dynamo on so many different levels these days.  But “spreading the wealth around,” implies that it doesn’t all go in one direction.

 

Take the economy. Dr. Obama’s treatment plan is killing the patient, but he won’t consider changing the prescription, because he’s too busy pointing fingers and dodging responsibility. Obama recently said, “If the price of certainty is essentially for us to adopt the exact same proposals that were in place for eight years leading up to the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression … the result is going to be the same. I don’t know why we would expect a different outcome pursuing the exact same policy that got us into this fix in the first place.”

 

Interesting theory, but where do Obama’s old buddies and colleagues, the busybodies at ACORN and Congress, fit in? Because the social engineers at ACORN intimidated banks into extending loans to non-creditworthy customers, but hit a roadblock when Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac balked. That was when their cohorts in Congress stepped in and imposed quotas that saddled Fannie and Freddie with $1 trillion in undesirable mortgages.   

 

And that’s what brings us to the “biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression,” that Obama mentioned. That’s right, the thing that happened when all those high risk customers stopped making their payments.

 

Meanwhile, remember the guy Obama practically dislocates his elbow pointing at whenever he screws up? That’s right, Bush. He foresaw catastrophe, proposed corrective action 17 times, and was blocked each time by Democrats in congress (including you-know-who and you-know-who).

 

So, just to recap: Who warned of trouble and called for reform?  Bush: Seventeen. Obama and Biden: Zip.

 

That’s why it’s a little strange that Obama keeps blaming the recession on the “lost decade” of the Bush administration. But, if my theory is true, in some strange, tenuous reality, it is only fair.  Obama was elected president, which means the wealth must spread.

 

If Obama can take Bush’s credit for winning the Iraq war, Bush must take Obama’s credit for ruining the economy.  See?  It balances out so beautifully.  You could even call it virtue and competence redistribution. 

 

If this works for Obama, he may even take it a step further. He may brand Bush a touchy, thin-skinned, dissembling, whiney-baby who can’t admit when he’s wrong.

 

Because that way Obama could be a class act.

 

 

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