Palin’s power to prevail

   

  

Alaska governor, Sarah Palin’s, entry into presidential politics last summer seemed to make Democrats a little, shall we say, defensive.

  

That was the impression I got, anyway, considering that they immediately declared DEFCON 50 and implemented the only version of the Strategic Defense Initiative the left will ever approve: insults and ridicule lobbed at the Palin family like Patriot missiles via the mainstream media.

 

Welcome to election-year politics. Disgusting, but hardly surprising.

  

What caught me off guard were all the potshots lobbed at Palin from the McCain camp – friendly fire that we now learn started well before the end of the campaign.

  

Or were they potshots? Maybe not. Perhaps Palin’s aides were just trying to show the world what a remarkable woman she really is.

  

For example, thanks to “Anonymous Staffers” we know that in private moments Palin sometimes expressed righteous anger in response to the daisy cutters that democrats were routinely dropping on her. 

 

Correction. Actually those “Anonymous Staffers” used slightly differently terminology. For a moment, I forgot the rules of semantics when describing the emotions of a female as opposed to a male. Women don’t express “righteous anger” even under the most trying circumstances.

 

According to Fox News reporter, Carl Cameron, those “Anonymous Staffers” told him that Palin threw “temper tantrums.”

 

They didn’t mention whether one of those “tantrums” took place after they put her on the phone with a developmentally-delayed radio prankster and told her it was the president of France.

 

On the other hand, maybe those “Anonymous Staffers” meant to commend Palin for keeping the “tantrums” private and putting on a brave face in public.  For example, when they booked Palin for a comprehensive oral exam with CBS’s Katie Couric (called an “interview”) Palin didn’t slap Couric when she repeatedly demanded details of John McCain’s regulatory votes over the past 26 years.

  

She did seem a little gun shy about giving specific answers to other questions, though, didn’t she? Maybe because she knew it would go something like this:

 

Couric: What newspapers and magazines do you like to read?

 Palin: I enjoy Time, Investors Business Daily, and the Wall Street Journal.

 Couric: Can you give me a brief biography of the publisher of Investor’s Business Daily, and while you’re at it the page count and five headlines from the last issue of Time?

 

In fairness, perhaps those “Anonymous Staffers” were just expressing gratitude that Palin hadn’t fired them yet, especially after they sent her into an interview with ABC’s Charlie Gibson with an fish head poultice under her blouse. (If you doubt that, look up the interview on YouTube, check out Gibson’s attitude toward Palin, and tell me if you can think of a better explanation. Although, I suppose it’s plausible that Gibson simply needed new glasses and thought the interview was with Stalin instead of Palin.)

 

Anyway, my point is if you believe those “Anonymous Staffers,” Palin is an intellectual Helen Keller, with an amazing, even miraculous, ability to achieve great things despite significant handicaps.

 

For example, those “Anonymous Staffers” said that when Palin and her family joined the McCain campaign they were a gaggle of “Wasilla Hillbillies,” dressed in animal furs, I would imagine, and spitting on the floor. Who would have known?

 

Apparently, Palin eighty-sixed the moose antlers, salmon guts, and chewing tobacco; lined up dental work and grammar lessons; popped in and out of Neiman Marcus; and then showed up at the convention with a brood that rivaled the British Royal Family – while clutching a scorched RNC credit card. 

 

But that’s not all. According to Cameron’s sources, Palin is an ignoramus with “real problems with basic civics, government structures, municipal, state, and federal responsibilities” – yet boasts a stellar background as a successful mayor and governor!

 

Furthermore, Palin has conducted extensive business with Canada – as a private business owner and the governor of Alaska – yet still hasn’t caught on to the basics of international commerce and NAFTA.

 

Even more shocking, we learn that she actually passed the third grade without knowing that Africa is a continent!

 

To some this might look bad, but I say it is a testament to Palin’s ability to overcome her handicaps and get the job done. 

 

Think about it. No knowledge of “Wilsonian Doctrine” (as Cameron breathlessly announced on the day after the election) and yet Palin still gets up in the morning, dresses herself, and ties her shoes. 

 

I think she could be tutored in time for the 2012 election. We would only have four years to do it, but I for one think it’s worth a try. Imagine the things that woman could accomplish if she was literate.

  

Or better yet, imagine the things she could accomplish if her “Staffers,” anonymous or otherwise, are loyal and competent.

 

(Originally posted on the Oregonian web site)

 

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