Teasing the Tiger


We’ve already heard about the activities of three bored young men last Christmas at San Francisco zoo. But now we know that boredom wasn’t the only ingredient in that recipe for disaster.  Now we are told that this calamitous stew combined those three youths, boredom and alcohol and marijuana.

Thus, unsuspecting San Francisco had a ticking time bomb on her hands.

Because we know what those bored, stoned, and drunk boys did next.

Did they rape? Pillage? Run amuck? Did they drive up and down the streets in an unsafe manner?

Did they emulate multitudes of stoned, drunk frat boys across the U.S. and turn on the newest member of their group to ease their boredom?

Perhaps they forced him to drink an entire bottle of Jack Daniels and a six-pack of beer. Or stuck his head in a toilet.  Or paddled him until his bottom was bloody. Or pantsed him and left him duct-taped to Pier 39.

But it was not to be. What those boys did next will make you long for those innocent days.

Because these three bored youths chose to go to the zoo and…. and…   I can hardly get the words out.

They went to the zoo and roared at the tigers.

It’s official.  The world is ending.

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