When I heard about the former Navy sailor, Hassan Abujihaad, who had the charming ship-board hobby of sending juicy information-filled emails to Al Qaeda – unbeknownst to his oblivious superiors – I was reminded me of another email in March of 2001 that originated from our home and was delivered to a U.S. Navy destroyer in the Persian Gulf.
Our sailor son, Nathan, had emphasized the importance of military security enough to provoke his dad’s teasing nature, prompting the following communication:
How are you this fine NAVY morning? I am a happy little lad because I have the day off and the weather is chipper and the birds are chirpy. Do the seagulls follow your ship? Do dolphins lead it? Are you already getting sick of these dorky questions? Are you convinced that your dad is a real dorknut, dipstick, doofer?
Actually, this is all code for Persian.catster.kidnapster.wargames.battleships.netster. nukeworld.gov… Please destroy this message before you receive it. It contains secret datalink megacode intersplicing information that only you will recognize because your dog, Sheldon, ate the McGuffin and threw it up on the veranza. (That is code, too, by the way!)
Are you getting all this… This message will self-destruct in 29 O-niner seconds, so read fast! The weather is fine today… that is F I N E (fine)… Are you getting this? Hey, I set my computer to the Atomic clock today, so all is well in the USA Today and the Cold War is on ICE (ice).
It took me a while to link up today because the radar (internet) was jammed and the chickadee couldn’t lay her egg (email wouldn’t work) but the situation is now rectified. We will await further instructions from you. By the way, the weather is FINE this FINE NAVY morning.
P.S. I know that wasn’t your camera because yours will take BETTER pictures! So get the Satellite linked and fire up those birdies, and get them chirping straight through the webnet! We are counting on you, Natester, so get to it! This is your Dadster speaking!
Signing out (side) for now,
Chirp at you later, Big Daddy Chirpster
We received a very terse reply from Nathan, basically, "Knock if off!"