I aren’t stoopid

Shhh… They’re all around us. If you listen hard you can almost hear them. Invisible comets of information whizzing through the air.

Occasionally one will plunge through my atmosphere and lay cooling on my terrestrial consciousness – a compact pellet of knowledge from a snobby Easterner who graduated from a 300-year-old university and thinks I’m a moron.

You can’t see them unless you turn on your TV or radio. All the little messages for us drones in fly-over country who need to be told what to think.

That was what Hillary Clinton was doing when she recently announced to a crowd, "Mr. President, the American people have lost patience in the war in Iraq."

If Hillary says we’ve lost patience, doggone it, she must be right! And we know why. We’ve been taught well.

  • Great presidents always adjust their decision-making to frequent public opinion polling.
  • Great presidents never sacrifice their current popularity ratings for the well being of future generations.
  • Great presidents have a crystal ball. That’s why a wrong decision has never been made in all previous United States wars. The president always knew what the enemy was going to do in advance.
  • Bad presidents make courageous decisions and stick with them even at great political cost and opposition from foes, even as their friends and allies begin to crack under the pressure.

So we’ve been told over and over and over. Along with the following… Okay, they don’t actually say it, but it’s implied:

  • Americans are gullible.
  • Americans are ignorant.
  • American’s are too stupid to identify the contradictions that always accompany large batches of lies.

For example, we need government to control our access to trans fats, but we’re living in a fascist police state because the government listens to Mohammed chat from a cave in Pakistan with Abdul in New York.

It’s an inspiring victory for freedom of speech when a student defies his principal by unfurling a "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner on a school field trip, yet the entire Bill of Rights is under attack if a fourth grade glee club sings Silent Night at a school’s winter concert.

If they told the truth they wouldn’t get tied up in such knots. Oh, I forgot. They don’t have to. Nobody notices anyway.

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